I was on my way to work last week and saw this sign while I was sitting at the red light. It really made me sad to think that this is what we’ve come to; $199 for a divorce. It made me feel like the institution of marriage has no real value to many people these days. Marriage is not something you enter lightly, it is a lifetime commitment, and if you are a lover of God, you realize in his eyes there are only two ways out of marriage, death and adultery.
There is a moral decline all around us, we are living in times when things that should be valued are seen as so disposable. We see it EVERY DAY, things like divorce just because you are tired of your mate, the thrill is gone and you want something new or younger, spouse abuse, child abuse and neglect, and as is becoming more and more prevalent, parents killing their children rather than giving them up! Life is so undervalued by many in our world these days. It can be so disheartening.
As you can tell by my posts, I am trying to be a spiritual person who pleases my Heavenly Father; since I do “imperfection perfectly”, I don’t get it right most of the time, but he knows I am trying and promises he is there for me and will forgive me as long as I am really doing my best and ask for his forgiveness. In light of this journey, I try to view things from His viewpoint, so with that said, here is a look at what I have learned.
First, with regard to divorce: in ancient times God inspired the prophet Malachi to pen these words:
“And there is another thing that you do, which results in covering the altar of Jehovah with tears and with weeping and sighing, so that he no longer pays attention to your gift offering or looks favorably on anything from your hand. And you say, ‘For what reason?’ It is because Jehovah has acted as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously, although she is your partner and your wife by covenant. But there was one who did not do it, for he had what remained of the spirit. And what was that one seeking? The offspring of God. So guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says Jehovah the God of Israel, “and the one who covers his garment with violence,” says Jehovah of armies. “And guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and you must not deal treacherouslyMalachi 2:13-16
In Jesus’ day the Jewish men, including the religious leaders would make up all kinds of frivolous reasons to divorce their wives. When testing Jesus one of the Pharisees (religious leaders of one sect of Jews) about divorce, Jesus replied as follows:
And Pharisees came to him intent on testing him, and they asked: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on every sort of grounds?” In reply he said: “Have you not read that the one who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said: ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.” They said to him: “Why, then, did Moses direct giving a certificate of dismissal and divorcing her?” He said to them: “Out of regard for your hard-heartedness, Moses made the concession to you of divorcing your wives, but that has not been the case from the beginning. I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”Matthew 19:3-9
You could switch out wife for husband in our time. The rules are the same. For emphasis, Jesus said:
“Moreover, it was said: ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ However, I say to you that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of sexual immorality, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.Matthew 5:31-32
Given this information, in a marriage both partners should work hard toward displaying loving qualities and tender affection toward one another. God, who created us, left us information on how to have successful marriages he said wives should respect their husbands, to a husband, respect is a very important thing, you could call it his “love language”, it is how he knows he is loved; he said husbands should love and protect their wives, love and protection is how wives know they are loved by their husbands. Think about it, who understands us better than the one who created us in his image? If you really try to apply this advice within your marriage, you have a great chance for success. Millions of people have successful marriages because they follow his direction.
Bottom line: Think about the reason you got married in the first place, was it not because you love each other? Did you not have fights or disagreements prior to your wedding? Why did you work it out then? Remember that and think about how much more important it is after getting married, and especially after having children together, that you WORK YOUR STUFF OUT! Don’t let things fester, talk about them rationally. If you are too upset to do that, table it and come back to it when you can be reasonable.
Marriage is a precious gift and it requires work; my marriage is far from perfect, but I know my husband loves me and he knows I love him. We are two imperfect people working hard to maintain a loving relationship. I have two highlights of each day, one is my daily facetime call from my grandbaby and the second is coming home to my loving husband. I have a great life and am so happy to share it with him.
Remember, if there is any way possible, WORK YOUR STUFF OUT! You will find that 100% of the time, it is worth it! However before I close, I need to add that there will be some marriages that no matter what you try, they just don’t work out. It’s bound to happen but it should not be the norm.